An infant rabbit was orphaned. Fortunately though, a family of squirrels took it in and raised it as if it were one of their own. This adoption led to some peculiar behaviour on the part of the rabbit, including a tendency for it to
eschew jumping but rather to embrace running around like its stepsiblings. As the rabbit passed through puberty, however, it soon faced an identity crisis. It went to its step-parents to discuss the problem. It revealed how it felt different from its step-siblings, was unsure of its place in the universe and was generally forlorn. Their response was, "Don't scurry, be hoppy."
Two of England's finest undertakers, Old Mort Rogers and his brother Dick, are also experts at rigging sailing ships. Most agree that Dick is a fine ship builder, but he's not the rigger Mort is.
A man wanted to go ice fishing. He'd seen many books on the subject, and finally, after getting all
the necessary "tools" together, he made for the nearest frozen lake. After positioning his comfy stool, he started to make a circular cut in the ice. Suddenly, from the sky, a voice boomed, "THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE." Startled, the man moved further down the ice, poured a Thermos of coffee and began to cut another. Again from the heavens, the voice bellowed, "THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE." The man, now quite worried, moved down to the opposite end of the ice, set up his stool, and tried again to cut a hole. The voice came once more, "THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE." He stopped, looked skyward and said, "Is that you Lord?" The voice replied, "No ... this is the Ice-Rink Manager...."
A man walked into a pet shop and asked to buy a wasp. "We don't sell wasps", the assistant replied. "But you've got one in the window", he protested.
This guy goes to a costume party with a girl on his back. "What are you supposed to be?" asks the host. "I'm a snail" says the guy. "But... you have a girl on your back" replies the host. "Yeah," he says, "that's Michelle!"
What did the mama buffalo say to the little buffalo when he went off to college? "Bison".
Three cowboys were hanging out in the bunkhouse. "I know that smart alec Tex", said the first, "he's going to start bragging about that new foreign car he bought as soon as he gets back". "Not Tex", said the second, "he'll always be just a good ol' boy. When he walks in, I'm sure all he'll say is 'hello'". "I know Tex better than any of you", said the third, "he's so smart, he'll figure out a way to do both. Here he comes now!" Tex swung open the bunkhouse door and shouted "Audi, partners!".
The Beckhams had a son and called him Romeo (as most people probably know by now!). Romeo grew up to be a footballer like his dad and was good enough to play for Manchester United. On his first day out, he said "Dad, what number shall I wear on my shirt?" David replied "Wear four out there Romeo".
An infant rabbit was orphaned. Fortunately though, a family of squirrels took it in and raised it as if it were one of their own. This adoption led to some peculiar behaviour on the part of the rabbit, including a tendency for it to
eschew jumping but rather to embrace running around like its stepsiblings. As the rabbit passed through puberty, however, it soon faced an identity crisis. It went to its step-parents to discuss the problem. It revealed how it felt different from its step-siblings, was unsure of its place in the universe and was generally forlorn. Their response was, "Don't scurry, be hoppy."
Two of England's finest undertakers, Old Mort Rogers and his brother Dick, are also experts at rigging sailing ships. Most agree that Dick is a fine ship builder, but he's not the rigger Mort is.
A man wanted to go ice fishing. He'd seen many books on the subject, and finally, after getting all
the necessary "tools" together, he made for the nearest frozen lake. After positioning his comfy stool, he started to make a circular cut in the ice. Suddenly, from the sky, a voice boomed, "THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE." Startled, the man moved further down the ice, poured a Thermos of coffee and began to cut another. Again from the heavens, the voice bellowed, "THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE." The man, now quite worried, moved down to the opposite end of the ice, set up his stool, and tried again to cut a hole. The voice came once more, "THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE." He stopped, looked skyward and said, "Is that you Lord?" The voice replied, "No ... this is the Ice-Rink Manager...."
A man walked into a pet shop and asked to buy a wasp. "We don't sell wasps", the assistant replied. "But you've got one in the window", he protested.
This guy goes to a costume party with a girl on his back. "What are you supposed to be?" asks the host. "I'm a snail" says the guy. "But... you have a girl on your back" replies the host. "Yeah," he says, "that's Michelle!"
What did the mama buffalo say to the little buffalo when he went off to college? "Bison".
Three cowboys were hanging out in the bunkhouse. "I know that smart alec Tex", said the first, "he's going to start bragging about that new foreign car he bought as soon as he gets back". "Not Tex", said the second, "he'll always be just a good ol' boy. When he walks in, I'm sure all he'll say is 'hello'". "I know Tex better than any of you", said the third, "he's so smart, he'll figure out a way to do both. Here he comes now!" Tex swung open the bunkhouse door and shouted "Audi, partners!".
The Beckhams had a son and called him Romeo (as most people probably know by now!). Romeo grew up to be a footballer like his dad and was good enough to play for Manchester United. On his first day out, he said "Dad, what number shall I wear on my shirt?" David replied "Wear four out there Romeo".